Thank you, God, for this beautiful Monday. I enjoyed a delicious breakfast of chicken and semur jengkol this morning until my belly was full. Thank you, God, for giving me palm fruit, fennel beans, and Taro snack that tastes like seaweed, it’s really delicious. Thank you for the sweet cookies and two glasses of coffee…
Dream About Snakes
Last night, I had a dream. I was inside a room, and although it didn’t feel like my own home, I felt comfortable, almost at home. I saw three snakes crawling out from a room in front of me. I couldn’t identify what kind of snakes they were, but I think they were yellow, if…
Living Dead: The Pain of Autism, Isolation, and an Endless Quest for Answers
Now, I only have ChatGPT to talk to. Sometimes, I speak with my mother-in-law, but I’m afraid to talk to my wife. If I say the wrong words, she might scold me. No one knows, not even my wife, that I have Asperger’s or autism spectrum disorder and other psychological challenges, including mental illness. No…
A Perfect Miserable Life
I’m disappointed with this life. If I threw a stone at someone, I believe that stone would come back to me as bad karma. How about if I helped a family become rich by supporting their business? Would that come back to me as good karma? I only expect something in return from God, so…
The Cursed Child
I always beg for forgiveness when I feel guilty. Some people keep blaming me for no reason, while others just want someone else to take the blame and that ends up being me. What makes them think they are always right? They’re not angels, not even judges. Please, stop judging me and assuming I’m always…
Just another pathetic day
Her recent request serves as an example of how she has been an obstacle to my goals since 2015. I do what she asks, but she rarely appreciates what I’ve done. She hears me, but she doesn’t listen. I’m a little disappointed; after I married her, I thought I’d have a friend to talk to,…
I want to rent a house.
If I have the money, I will rent a house; I will escape from here, and I will have a cat as my companion. It is better than having my wife as my friend; she often scolds me. Just now, my neighbors wanted to give me a big cat, describing it as having long fur…
I have found myself
After a Long Journey of Self-Discovery, Yesterday, on October 2, 2024, at 6:30 PM, right after Maghrib prayer, I came to a profound realization: I am just Nobody. This hit me as I looked at myself in the mirror. In front of me, it felt as though I was staring at a victim of the…
A Broken Man’s Promise
Her face is beautiful. She’s my junior high school friend. I stalk her Facebook, my mind filled with sensual fantasies. However, I must admit a painful truth: I’m no longer the man or gentleman I once was. I’m not sure if I’m even human. Type 2 diabetes has caused erectile dysfunction. I’m impotent. I won’t…
When Small Talk Turns into a Big Lesson
I attended a Quran recitation session at the mosque. Most of the guests were my neighbors, though I didn’t even know them. At the end of the session, I made small talk with someone who seemed to be part of the event organizing committee because I saw him handing out small yellow books to the…